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The fat is getting nice and hot in the pan on the gas ring. I reach into the freezer to get the frozen mushrooms, they're a little frosty but seem ok. I toss one into the fat, which immediately causes the ice to melt, then boil, expanding rapidly pushing fat everywhere. Over the edge of the pan into the flame below.

My immediate reaction, which I realised very shortly was exatly the wrong thing to do, was to grab the pan and pull it away from the flame. This would have worked better if the flame lived entirely outside the pan, but now I was holding a pan with a six foot flame in.

I ran outside and threw the pan into the garden, it wouldn't do any harm there since we didn't really care for the garden.

Nobody asked about the scorch mark above the cooker or why there was a pan in the garden.

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